As I walked home alone after saying goodbye to Jess last night, I called Mary on my cell. I knew she would still be awake since we had just left her thirty minutes earlier. I told her how frustrated I was that Jess didn't say a word to me about what he had written in his email to me that morning (Oliver, him being weird, etc). I asked her, don't you think it was odd that he never brought that up? He had the perfect opportunity to do so if he really meant what he said. I mean, he and I were fucking alone walking down the streets. I thought for sure he would have said something. He also never told me that he missed me which he has written me no less then six times as well in the last few days. I then asked Mary, "don't you think it is also strange that Jess has still never told you that Oliver was here in town staying with him?". Mary then told me that he did tell her! While I was in the bathroom! Click on the jump below to read more.
She then went on to say that Jess was lying to her. Why? She said that when I went to the bathroom, Jess had said to her "you probably know that Oliver is here in town and he is staying with me." He also told her that "Steve is upset about it!". Mary told me that she responded back, "Jess, don't you think that that's weird?" Jess replied, "no, I don't." Mary said that she began to then tell Jess, that it was weird and that how can you have this guy Oliver who you had a relationship with last summer stay at your place for five days while you and Steve are working things out or at the least, trying to sort out what is left of or going to be with your relationship that you have had with him for the past nine months! Jess replied that he didn't see anything weird or odd about it and after a few tense moments of silence he looked at Mary and said the words "I'm just an odd person". I then came back to the table from the restroom. Everything proceeded as normal and the time, I was none the wiser for not knowing that Mary and Jess had just discussed this.
Wow, that the fuck if going on in Jess's head. Mary and I stayed on the phone for another thirty minutes. She commiserated with me that Jess lied to her (he tells me one thing in an email and then tells her another to her face). She tells me to get to sleep and get some rest. She was going to send him an email and let him know nicely how she feels. You see, with Jess, everyone has to "go nicely" and "speak nicely" for fear that he will cut you out of his life. Mary cares about Jess a lot and although she doesn't agree with what he is doing and how he is going about things with me and she certainly can't figure out why he can't be honest with her about what is going on in his head, she nonetheless still loves him and values his friendship enormously! Her big question is also mine... why did Jess call me on the phone Thursday night and write me an email Friday morning saying that he finally agreed with me that having Oliver come to town was weird and that he understood how I felt about it and that he no longer had a physical attraction for Oliver, and that he and Oliver's relationship was in the past. Why then couldn't he tell her that?
Mary wrote Jess a quick email before she went to sleep last night. She just reiterated that she felt it was weird, blah blah blah about the Oliver thing. This morning Mary called me and told me that Jess actually responded to this email. She said that Jess told her the following. "everyone I speak to tells me the same thing as you and Steve. They agree with you! I just don't see it that way. I am just odd"
Wow, what is going on in this guys head? I love him, is he confused? Immature? A sociopath? I am sad for me and starting to worry about him. I'm not worrying that he is nuts, but I am worried that maybe he is more fucked up then I originally thought!
Mary told me that late this morning she responded back to his email. She briefly wrote, if everyone is telling you that what you are doing isn't write, then how come you can't see that? How come you can't see that you are hurting Steve? And calling yourself "odd" is not a justification to hurt or put someone you love through something like this.
We will see if Jess responds to Mary's email. Also, Jess hasn't called or text-ed or emailed me since we said goodbye last night. I know it's early still and only soon after, but I am interested in seeing if and what he communicates to me.
By the way, he he go home and have sex with Oliver? Did he wake up in bed with Oliver this morning? Are they out on the town today or tonight? Mary tells me to stop thinking about shit like this. I am only torturing myself. Okay, I will try not to but we all know that I can't fucking help myself.
Stay tuned! More to come, I'm sure!
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