Monday Evening And All Is Well... So Far... I Think!

Monday at 5:30pm. I was going to finish work and head over this photography school in midtown that I found out about. I really want to take a photography course there; actually pretty affordable, I think. If I'm not mistaken it's under $350.00 for a once a week course. I forget how long the course lasts for but I will check it out before committing to anything. Also, a girl on the subway told me about a really cool yoga studio in the city. I think I want to start taking it. It's a non-committal, pay as you go type of scenario. At first I will take the regular classes, (hope they have a beginner level), then I would love to try and do the "hot yoga" classes. What do you think? Has anyone ever taken that? It's getting really popular here in NYC and as bad as this may sound, I'm really pretty fit physically, (emotionally - well, that's another story) so I think I will get some some benefit out of it.

Heading to the store soon. Need to by new work-out crap for the gym. Been using the same stuff for forever and a friend pointed out the rips in the crotch area on my shorts today. So, I think I am ready for something new. Might even give me a boost and a fresh start if I get some new stuff. Also want to check out the yoga mats as the place I want to go will rent me one for $2.00 but I don't want to lie on anyone else's sweat, (unless I am sleeping with them.)

My gym friend Aiden, who I have known for quite some time is coming over afterwards at 8:45 to watch a movie. Hope he brings something good. Aiden is gay and pretty low key about it. I told him a little about me; that I have been with men, etc. but never really gotten into the whole story of me with him...yet. I don't think I need to... yet! Aiden likes me and I love massage and Aiden loves to give me massages and Aiden loves to do things for me (except it makes me uncomfortable when people who are just my friends do things for me when I know they are doing them because they "like me"). Anyway, catch my drift? Massage is harmless... no?

Notice how I've somewhat stopped talking about "you-know-who?"

I'll write more later.  Promise! Hope you're all well!

What Is A Friend?

A Friend

(A)ccepts you as you are

(B)elieves in "you"
(C)alls you just to say "HI"
(D)oesn't give up on you
(E)nvisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts)
(F)orgives your mistakes
(G)ives unconditionally
(H)elps you
(I)nvites you over
(J)ust "be" with you
(K)eeps you close at heart
(L)oves you for who you are
(M)akes a difference in your life
(N)ever Judges
(O)ffers support
(P)icks you up
(Q)uiets your fears
(R)aises your spirits
(S)ays nice things about you 
(T)ells you the truth when you need to hear it
(U)nderstands you
(V)alues you 
(W)alks beside you
(X)-plain things you don't understand
(Y)ells when you won't listen and
(Z)aps you back to reality.

Oh, And Here's What Happened With Scott.

It took me over an hour to get all the way to Scott's house in New Jersey. I thought that when I got there we would hang out on his deck like we did last summer, drink a few beers and bullshit for a while. After all, he has been trying to get me to come over for almost a year. I never wanted to because I was with Jess and totally happy. The recent events with Jess and I led me to believe that even though I didn't want to be with anyone else right now (I compare everyone to Jess and no one comes close. Besides, I feel guilty still about being with anyone else and to tell you the truth, I have a hard time getting Jess out of my head) that it might be alright to see Scott and if something were to happen, then it wouldn't be so bad since I had already met and known him. Stupid logic right? Click on the jump below to read about the shocking surprise that happens later. Is there no end to all this bullshit!!

Mary Really Fucked Up Tonight Big Time! And Yes It Involves Me & Jess!

This is really fucked up. As most of you know, Jess and I are working through our "situation". Jess and I communicate by email everyday, sometimes even a few times a day. We also text and every once in a while we will talk on the phone. He has told me that he cares about me but was so freaked out about what I did with his closet (oy vay already!) that he needs time to get over it wants to get to know me all over again. How fucking weird is this dude. But I fucking love him so I am playing as always by his rules. Eventually he feels that we will be together as best or as very good friends and well who knows what. It hasn't been easy for me to say the least. I have been paling around with Mary. She fucking loves Jess and if Jess wasn't gay she'd be all over his pecker. Click on the jump below to read what whacked out shit Mary pulled on me tonight and all because she is wet for Jess!

Tell Me If This Isn't Weird?

I got a telephone call today from my friend Rich. He asked me if I wanted to swing by his place and grab some dinner and watch a netflix movie with him. Even though I wasn't in the mood to go, I thought it might be a good idea to go -- to take my mind off Jess as well as showing myself as not so readily available to him when and if he calls (which by the way he did). At the very least, I must let Jess know, directly or indirectly, that I am moving on with my life, and that I'm going out and not being so fucking pitiful and waiting on his every move which lately has been moves that are away from me..

Rich was the first guy I ever dated. We were together off and on for over two years. Things ended and we remained friends sort of. He is one of those friends who I can go weeks or more without speaking to. He is also one of those friends that truly doesn't have my back. Do I trust him, sure I do. But I try not to put myself too deep into a position to really rely on his loyalty. Click on the jump below to read more.