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Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Tell Me If This Isn't Weird?

I got a telephone call today from my friend Rich. He asked me if I wanted to swing by his place and grab some dinner and watch a netflix movie with him. Even though I wasn't in the mood to go, I thought it might be a good idea to go -- to take my mind off Jess as well as showing myself as not so readily available to him when and if he calls (which by the way he did). At the very least, I must let Jess know, directly or indirectly, that I am moving on with my life, and that I'm going out and not being so fucking pitiful and waiting on his every move which lately has been moves that are away from me..

Rich was the first guy I ever dated. We were together off and on for over two years. Things ended and we remained friends sort of. He is one of those friends who I can go weeks or more without speaking to. He is also one of those friends that truly doesn't have my back. Do I trust him, sure I do. But I try not to put myself too deep into a position to really rely on his loyalty. Click on the jump below to read more.

Years ago, back in 2001 when we dated ( I have only dated two other guys since Rich and one of them is Jess) Rich came to hang out with me and a friend of mine at the time named Mike. I always knew that Rich thought Mike was hot and I always knew that Mike was a horn dog. But I never gave it a second thought. I was new to the gay scene (I'm still no where close to ever being a part of the "scene") and didn't realize the, how should I put it mildly, the power of the gay man and his sex drive. Nicely put? Anyway, that night the three of us hung out and weird shit happened. Mike hit on Rich, in front of me and Rich bit and responded. I was surprised and shocked but didn't want to appear as square. Mike asked if anyone dared him to get naked and of course Rich obliged the dare. Mike stripped naked and Rich couldn't control himself. All I could say was this isn't happening. Ignoring me and simply yelling back at me, "get in here", they both walked toward the bedroom and beckoned me to come and I told Rich, lets go because I am not into this. They went into the room anyway, closed the door about 85% and had sex. I sat and waited for Rich in the living room. It was surreal and it changed my life. How far did they go? I still to this day have no idea. I definitely don't think that they went all the way. There was no chance of that! Regardless, that was the beginning of the end of Rich and I.

So tonight at Rich's apartment, we  talked about Jess and me in more detail. He knew I was upset. I had clued him in on Jess and whats been going over a  few previous conversations Rich and I had over the phone. He knows even about Oliver coming to town this weekend and staying with Jess and how bothered and sad I am about it.

To catch you up on Rich's life, he has been dating a guy, Chris, from the city as well. Its been about four weeks and they appear to be quite happy, or at least happy but moving slow.

Rich has seen pictures of Jess in the past. I showed him some a month ago from ones I had saved on my iPhone. I asked Rich tonight if he had any pics of Chris for me to see since he talks so much about him. He actually sat there and carried on a text message conversation with him while he was talking to me. Does that annoy anyone else? Anyway,.he told me that he has no pics.  I said okay.  Then he asks me where does Jess live? I told him. He asked me the avenue and the cross street and precisely where he is near. I told him. "Ah" he said. "he lives right near Craig. Only a block away. I bet he knows Craig." Then he tells me that "Jess would really like Craig. Craig would be Jess's type! Let me call Craig and ask him if he knows Jess, I bet he does".

What the fuck is this!  Do I need to hear this from a friend? Am I wrong or is that fucked up? Am I being too sensitive because my mind is like shredded lettuce over Jess or was this fucking goddamn inappropriate to say to me, even in a joke. I mean, aren't I confiding in Rich about my life and what I'm going through. Did I really need to hear that? Then when Rich saw I was annoyed, he totally took the high road and said he was kidding. He then turned the conversation towards how come you have never introduced me to any of your friends except two? My answer was, hey, I'm tired and have get up early in the morning. I gotta get going. It should have been because if I introduce you to my friends, you end up fucking them. I didn't say that. I just left.  What is wrong here... is it me?  I need new friends! Bad!

2 comments:

SteveA said...

That was wierd...they seem to have missed the point of "talking about feelings".

Adventures In Gay Dating said...

I agree. That was just plain WEIRD.