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Monday, October 10, 2011

Happy Columbus Day... Big Shit!

What am I going to write about tonight? All I know is that I haven't written in a few days; usually the idea of writing a post leaves me with dread with regard to having to sit down and spew out all my thoughts. But lately, my thoughts have been, well, boring! Seriously, when I think of all the things that have been occupying my mind lately it even bores me. Of course I've been busy doing a lot of different things, ie: working, hanging out, getting to know some new people, visiting my sleaze bar, working out in the gym and trying to organize my home. Even getting ready to take another course toward that elusive degree. Side note: did I tell you guys that I actually got a solid A in my English Composition course that took me forever to complete. When the final grades were in and tallied, 16 A's and 1 B. Nice huh?  Yikes, my mind is running off on tangents. Okay back to talking about what I've been so busy with. Pretty run of the mill stuff.

As I sit here and type this post, a guy I met online in one of the so-called virtual cam chat-rooms is messaging me on Skype.  His name is Ryan and to be honest, he is a good looking, young guy from the west coast but not really someone I can relate too. Ryan does party drugs and he is all about getting off. I can't even really have an intelligible conversation with him. The last thing he wants is for me to preach about sobering up and getting on with his life; that's not exactly what I feel like doing as well, but sometimes I can't help myself from trying to help even if my help isn't asked for. So anyway, he's been calling me for the past few minutes on Skype. I've told him (now) I am working and can't talk and he is now telling me he is sorry for bothering me. I'm telling him he isn't bothering me and his response is that he feels like a stalker. Damn, this is sad. I don't want him to feel bad or feel down about himself. Shit, everyone has their issues and their problems. We all know I do.

I best get on with it here. I still feel lonely, and I am experiencing other issues; those of the financial sort. On top of that, my stomach is killing me and I've had a colonoscopy, endoscopy, and CT scan all in the last 10 days. To make matters work, I need to have surgery in that area (stomach). Nothing serious really, but serious enough that I am scared shitless. Will it hurt? Will I be laid up for a while? How long is the recovery process? And most important...will I be out of the gym for a long time - long enough for my body to deteriorate? Fuck, this sucks but I look around and think that this could be much worse. Or could it?

I'll be back to write more and fill in the details. Time for me to forget and clear my head; perhaps a movie.

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