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Friday, April 23, 2010

Apology Text Messages - It's Always The Same Thing!

So I've told you that Jess again was an asshole last night.  For the first time, I am trying to handle it a bit differently now.  Usually I ask him "whats going on" and "what did I do to get you moody and acting like a dick"?  But now, I know that it is not 100% because of me.  Jess of course tells me that all the time, but I now know that he does this because he is not happy with himself.  Regardless of what he says, I still think the reason he does this so often (at least every other day) has to have something, albeit small, to do with me.  If he was excited and happy and respectful and really wanted to keep me in his life -- he would NEVER do this to me.

Here are some of the texts that I got from Jess since his last outburst last night.  You can see that he text me 4 times since 10:45 PM yesterday through 10:45 AM today.  I did write one response and that was this morning at 11:00 AM.  He has not responded to it.  So do you think I did the right or wrong thing?  I have no clue!

(April 22, 2010  10:45 PM)  I know, I'm sorry.  But I really am glad you know me well enough to know I grouch, but i love...!!!

(April 23, 2010  12:01 AM)  Steve-eee -- I am going to bed but don't want to think that you are going to bed upset with me.  Sending a huge apology and a kiss.  Night!  XO

(April 23, 2010  8:23 AM)  Hey, love you.  And sorry.  Are you going to talk to me again?

(April 23, 2010  10:45 AM)  Hey -- are you never going to forgive me?  Do you need a little time way from me?  A bouquet? Chocolates?

My text response to Jess (below)
(April 23, 2010  11:00 AM)

It's all fine. I know fundamentally that what causes this to occur so 
often goes deeper then just me. The frequency of it however can be 
frustrating. I try hard not to take it personally. This is all 
somewhat new for me - as i have never experienced any situation quite 
like it. Lastly, I think you are the one who needs time away from me 
and what I possibly may represent to you. Perhaps it might help you if 
I backed out for a while and let you breathe. I still think u are 

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