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Monday, April 19, 2010


Yeah, Saturday and Sunday were great, but am I really supposed to be talking about how great it was hanging out with Jess and Mary all weekend.  I've been complaining the last week about how fucked up things are with me and Jess so I guess I feel like finally mentioning here that I am glad that we had a good day (Saturday and Sunday) together.  I love that guy but damn... he is really difficult at times.  With Jess, the hard part is that I have no clue as to what he really wants and what he is thinking and what his next mood, even his next step will be!  I know that the next eruption, the next mood, the next issue is right around the corner.  Progress, albeit small, Jess told me that he know's he is a very difficult guy and that he is very difficult to be in a relationship with.  He said he has had problems with guyS (boyfriends) or whatever you call them, in the past because of this difficulty.

Anyway, I want to meet new guys and new girls.  I fucking want gay friends!  I want whatever comes my way that works for me and of course for them!  I want a new job!  I want more money!  I want more sex!  I want love!  I want to be happy!  I want to smile all the time on the outside and mean it and feel it on the inside!  I want the stock market to shoot back over 14000!  I want my body to look as good as I think it should look but doesn't after all the fucking work I put into it!  I want good health for me and everyone I know!  I want a new place in Manhattan!  I want to be fucking happy!  I want big, huge, floppy....uh... hats!  I want to go and get lunch!  Catch you later.

I saw this painting on the Internet.  I'm not sure what I think of it yet but it appeals to me on some level.  Maybe the colors, maybe the athletic, masculine subject?   I have no idea who the artist is.

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