Have you ever seen one of those movies where the guy is freaking out because he feels that his next door neighbor has done something bad, possibly even killed someone? He tells this to the police, his wife, his friends and even confronts the neighbor himself. but to no avail. They all think he is fucking crazy. They even talk behind his back about how much he needs professional help and medication, even an intervention. No one believes him and the guy himself falls deeper and deeper into depression, even starting to believe that possible he himself is indeed, crazy!
Well, this mornings email from Jess reminds me of that in the way that I finally get my redemption. I am the guy in the movie who is going nuts because no one believes what I am saying. They all treat me as if I am the loony one, especially Jess. My thoughts all along were that what Jess was doing (with Oliver) is wrong. But, although I expressed that to him many times over a week ago, he blew me off and continued on with his plan to host Oliver as if nothing was wrong and as if I was crazy, inappropriate and emotional. I'm not saying that this email means that Jess wants me back and loves me and realizes that he has fucked me over big time and wants to make it up to me. I am saying that this email shows me that Jess has finally gotten smart on the Oliver thing. Perhaps someone has spoken to him and wised him up or maybe he slept with Oliver last night and it wasn't good at all. I have no idea. Click on the jump below to read what Jess wrote me this morning. It's definitely something you don't want to miss!
I am still confused and nothing has changed really in my mind. This was just an email and they mean nothing as far as past emails from Jess have proven. Oliver is still going to be here with him three more nights and four more days. Anything can happen. And also, this doesn't change the fact that Jess is so confused and conflicted. Remember, he has been telling me that he wants to just be my friend, and that he needs to be with others physically and date others? This is so fucking crazy. If I keep talking about this now, I'm going to ruin this moment of temporary false happiness. So let me shut up!
Hey, one last thing. Do I respond to Jess's email. I have no idea as to what to say. Lately, I haven't mentioned or commented at all about Jess and I or Oliver and any of the shit we have been going through. I've tried to remain above it and possibly give Jess the idea that I am moving on and doing whats best for me now, not whats best for Jess, finally!
So, that being said, do I write or text him back? What should I say or shouldn't say? Help!! Thanks!!
Here is Jess email that he sent me this morning: