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Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Spoke With Jess Late Last Night.

I knew it was just a matter of time before I finally spoke with Jess again. I hadn't spoken to him since that crazy, nasty ass conversation on the phone Saturday afternoon. He'd been trying to reach out and apologize to me since Sunday morning and by Monday night, I was ready to speak with him.

He sent me a text at around 11:00pm last night that said nothing more then this:

Hey -- just wanted to let you know I got over the big work stress today.
Even though there will still be stress ahead, this was a hurdle I'm thrilled
to be over!

And that was his text! He is so fixated on his job, wouldn't you say? I will give him this, that he does work long, hard hours, but I think he lets the stress and responsibility consume him.

I called him back after I got the text. He answered and was on his way home in a cab. We actually spoke on the phone for over an hour. We didn't dwell on what happened on the telephone Saturday, but he did apologize again and reiterated that he was "bad" with stress. No fucking kidding Jess!!!

We didn't get too deep on any one topic for too long. We talked about our friendship and our recent relationship and there were hints of conversation that eluded to it not being good, to it being good, to us being over and to us not yet being over. All very confusing.

I told him point blank that I never know what his mood will be and when he is interested in speaking with me and when he isn't.  So, I gave him my feelings that the best thing for me would be to not call him and simply have him call me when he was in the right frame of mind to talk with me. This way there would be no stress for him or me regarding speaking when he wasn't in the mood to speak (to me).

We left it at that. Said goodnight and hung up. So we will see how that goes. My opinion is that it won't go very well.  Does it ever?

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