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Sunday, August 29, 2010

Hopefully I Will be Blogging More. I Hope You All Will Stay With Me!

Hi everyone! I know I haven't been writing that much lately but I am going to try and write more... from here on in. The situation with Jess and I has obviously devastated me and I miss him terribly. He still refuses to communicate with me. I have backed off in trying to communicate with him.

I wrote in my blog that last Tuesday I ran into Jess on the street near his apartment and he smiled. He was 50' in front of me when I saw him and I called out his name. He turned and saw me and he waited for me to catch up to him as he stayed on his phone talking. He actually had a smile on his face... perhaps a nervous smile but why the fuck am I reading into that! It was a fucking smile and could have been a grimace and he didn't have to wait for me to catch up to him! We shook hands (after I extended mine to him) but he didn't want to talk with me. Okay but he fucking didn't have to shake my hand, right? Mary tells me continuously that Jess cares about me and needs some time. Time for what I have no clue but she tells me that he had told her over a week ago that he thinks about me, never intended to abandon me and all communication with me and that he feels that we can be friends again. So, I am being patient. I am not emailing or writing or calling him. Actually since August 1, I have not sent any texts at all and wrote only 4 emails and left only two or three phone messages. I did however send him a card when he began his new job saying "congratulations" and also saying that I missed him. That was it!

Since last Tuesday I have not attempted any communication at all. I hope he thinks about me as much as everyone says that he must. In time, I hope to hear from him! I look forward to one day soon (well its only been since July 21, that Jess wrote me and told me that we should move on with our good memories) that he and I can be friends (good) again! I believe in that!

I miss you and love you Jess forever! You are still my best friend!

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