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Wednesday, August 25, 2010

I Accidentally Ran Into Jess Tonight On The Street!

Like the title of this blog entry says, I accidentally ran into Jess tonight while I was heading uptown to go meet Mary. He was on his cell phone, still dressed in his work clothes and most likely had just gotten off the bus and was walking the three blocks to his apartment.

As I was crossing the street I noticed him and I got nervous as hell. Should I call out his name or not?  If I did, he could ignore me and if I didn't, well, I'd regret it. I did. I called his name twice. JESS... JESS! He turned and saw me. I waved and gave him what was probably a very nervous smile. For a second, I was so afraid that he might look at me, grimace, and turn and walk away! He didn't... but what he did do wasn't that much better! He nodded a sort of hello nod, I think he even waved. He smiled, he seemed to be smiling a lot. Perhaps it was nervous smiling.  Anyway he was about 40 feet in front of me. He stopped but he remained on the phone. As I got closer, he still was facing me and was waiting. I got up to him, he didn't say much. He still smiled and I said hello. He was still on the phone, holding on to it like it was his security blanket. I held out my hand to shake his and he shook mine back. He asked me if I was meeting Mary.  I said that I was trying to call her and go see her. He then turned and was still on the phone and then he turned toward me again and said he had to go. I asked him if we can talk for a few minutes and all he said was that he had to go. He turned and walked away. He didn't say goodbye. I didn't say another word to him and I didn't follow him. He never turned around to look back at me. He just disappeared up the block and then turned into his building.

That was the first time I have seen Jess since June 16th. Fuck, I miss him. Why is this happening? Mary says that he could have ignored me and that the fact that he stopped, smiled, shook my hand and asked if I was meeting her... well that's a good thing.  I don't know!  I just don't know!  I love you Jess and miss you!

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