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Monday, December 26, 2011

So Much Sadness Going On Out There

It's Monday. The day after Christmas and the television commercials for 60% off and more are even more intense and annoying now than the ads were prior to Christmas. Not sure why I led off with that thought, but, at 11:00 PM in the evening, that's obviously what was front and foremost in my mind. Well, that's not exactly true. It's holiday time and everything seems so sad lately. I rarely watch TV and got a chance to do so tonight. I keep hearing about the murder/suicide on Long Island which has been in the news, vandalism done repeatedly to the grave of an ex-teacher whose been dead for six years and the horrible, tragic, heartbreaking story of a Christmas Day fire in a wealthy waterfront section of Stanford, Connecticut where a house caught on fire, trapping and killing the homeowners Mom and Dad and three young children. The only survivors were the homeowner, a fashion designer, and her boyfriend, the contractor who was in the process of renovating the home. Tragically, she lost her parents and three children. That's a hell that I have no concept how anyone can get through.


If that wasn't bad enough, I kept on going. Watched a TV show discussing the story of a handsome, young 23 year old guy from Australia. His fiance' is a beautiful (Britney Spears look-a-like) young girl who is incredible and just an amazing person. You see... the story is that they were engaged and a few weeks before their wedding, he was playing a friendly game of soccer and collapsed mysteriously. It was determined he had 6 strokes and doctors told his family and his fiance' that he was going to live out his life as a vegetable. Doctors recommended that they institutionalize him with the hopes that he will contract an infection and die. Fuck! How horrible is that? The fiance' wasn't having any of it. She researched online for months (boyfriend was in this quasi-como state for almost a year and a half. All he could do is open his eyes and moan). The fiance's research found numerous stories about how Ambien has had some incredible results with people in this state. She told doctors, nurses and anyone who would listen, No one, including the doctors would help her so she administered it to him on her own. How did she  do that? Well, she was sneaky, she told the nurses at the hospital she wanted it for him so he could get some restful sleep. Cut to today... now, he can talk, albeit not too clearly, but he can talk. Fuck, it was so sad. I watched him tell her how much he loves her, his illness ravaged face, well up with tears and he puckered his still beautiful young lips to kiss her. God damn that was sad! She told him that she never for a moment ever considered leaving his side, and that he is her life, her soul and she loves him more than anything ever! Wow, I cried like a baby (I do that a lot lately - I wonder if depression makes that happen in me? Well, that's another story for another day). Only problem is that once the Ambien wears off he resorts back to his "vegetative" condition. Sorry, I'm leaving out many of the details, etc. but didn't really think I was going to go in this direction on this post.

I think the reason I'm writing all this is because all this sadness in the world (and I know how much more is out there without specifically knowing about it), has forced me to stop feeling so fucking bad for myself. Sure, my life sucks right now and I'm feeling lonely as hell (even miss Jess a lot lately), and feeling dissatisfied with the things going on around me in my life... but, I'm fucking alive and healthy and that's more then the sad, sad, sad people in the stories which are on heavy on my mind tonight, can ever again get to say! Sad!

Why am I writing these terrible things on my blog? Well, it is my blog, right? And although I really didn't plan to go in this direction... I went with the thoughts that were on my mind. Sorry if I bummed anyone out!

In closing tonight's post, let me say this. It's pretty obvious  that I don't have a lot of followers on my blog here. I have 34 and believe me when I say that I am so thankful to have each and every one of you. I write this blog because I feel like there is people out there listening, reading, maybe laughing, commiserating, learning or just looking at the occasional pictures and just being entertained. I don't care why you guys are reading, I'm just glad you do. It helps keep me going with writing this blog and I honestly sometimes believe that writing this blog just might be a good thing for me to keep doing.

That being said, I want to give a big thanks to my 35th follower who just added himself to my list today. His name is Mike and he is from Boston. I hope he doesn't mind me mentioning this. I don't get a lot of feedback and comments and his comment (he commented on a post I wrote the other day) today made me smile, made me feel good and made me feel that writing this blog might just be a worthwhile effort. Thanks Mike, thanks everyone. Keep reading and writing. Goodnight Mike, goodnight everyone and again Happy Holidays to you and yours.

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