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Friday, April 9, 2010


Good morning.  Not sure how I am going to handle all this writing but I honestly feel like it will do me good, so here I go again.

Yesterday, went to see my Therapist (Paul) at 1:00 PM.  He wasn't there!  I waited till 1:15 and figured, fuck this!  I left and placed a small note on a business card on his door telling him I was there.  At 1:20 PM his phone calls with his apologies started coming in.  Of course, I didn't answer one of them or return the call.  I just didn't want to confrontation.  I've got too much crap going on to have another issue added to my bullshit.  So, he has done this before.  Actually, this is the 3rd or 4th time he is late.  People (those that I boldly told that I was seeing a therapist) have told me that this is nuts, and that no therapist acts this way. I called my sister on the phone right after I left.  I think I was feeling guilty about leaving his office and needed some sort of validation.  My sister, lets call her Ellen, told me that I shouldn't go back to him.  She used the typical verbage, like asshole, jerk, unprofessional, loser, etc when describing him.  I wouldn't go that far, but my sister, well you don't know her yet so... It will make sense later.  Paul is a LSW (Licensed Social Worker) and she and a few others told me that he is a quack.  I don't agree but I am feeling weird that I told all my sexual, personal and whacked out secrets and life to someone who may be, well, a quack.  Okay, so now I have no one to talk to.  So, I am going to talk to you Blog.  I hope someone out there will see this.  Fuck, I feel lonely as hell.

1 comment:

stwestnc said...

okay stop every thing you are doing get out of NY and come teach English in Korea! get away from the city and the gayh community and get to know who you are and learn to love yourself. You are okay to be in a relationship when you are okay to be with yourself. Some gifts come from powers greater than ourselves ;)