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Tuesday, May 25, 2010

What Do I Do? I Want To See Him Again Soon, Tonight? Do I Go? Help!!!!

It always seems to happen this way. As soon as I post a blog entry and mention that I haven't spoken to Jess since a particular time, it never fails that an email from him arrives. This time it was literally in minutes. He wrote two very short emails. They are both below. What do you think? I'm not sure, but I know one thing, I am smiling, at least for now! He asks in the first email if I can come and hang out soon. I want to see him so bad. If I say no or ignore that he asked that, it makes me a hardass and gives the impression to him that I don't care and I'm moving on or even that I am playing "games" perhaps. But, if I go tonight and see him, is it giving in? Is it condoning his behavior with Oliver? Is it being a pussy? If I went, it would be simply to see him and talk. No, I would never have sex and no, I wouldn't smother him with words like love, boyfriend and miss. I would keep my cool, my distance so to speak and yes, my self esteem. So, what the fuck do I do?

First Email from Jess 5/25/2010 11:25:41 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time

Hey bestie!!

Thanks for the email. I knew you would hate that "no matter what" part. Didn't I say that? We have such a different understanding of what that means.

Anyway, Doubt is a great movie but so sad. I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for the email. I really miss you. Can you come and hang out soon? We can watch a movie or just chat. 

I love the subject line in this email. I mean, that was a world and a half ago!!

Love you,

Second Email from Jess 5/25/2010 11:26:20 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time

Oh -- and you were right. So far so good on the stress factor. I think today will end up being just fine. Why do I do that go myself?


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