I Sent Jess A Heartfelt Email.

I decided to write Jess. It's no secret how much I miss him and how much I want him in my life. I know that he already is aware of that. I needed to tell him, again. Here is an email that I wrote him late last night. I'm sure he won't respond, but I still needed to write. I don't even know if he will read it but I am hoping he does. Perhaps, just perhaps if he is on the fence or stewing over all of this, just perhaps this email might get through to him! Click on the jump below to read the heartfelt email I sent to Jess.

Hey Jess,

Here I am writing you again. Last night, I sent you some pictures that I took with digital camera. I hope that you got the chance to look at them. I have more tonight. Some are pretty good and some are fairly basic but overall I think they look decent as I still learn the ins and outs of my camera. 

It has been quite some time since you and I have spoken.  I think about you often!  You always were and always will be an important part of my life.  I am holding out hope that we can once again, soon be friends.  I often worry that all this time and distance between us may cause you to forget me.  I for sure have not and will not forget you.

I am saddened about not being able to share things thing's with you, like my English Composition course as well as details on the new class I will be starting soon. I often think about how great your help would be while working on my place as I contemplate selling it along with my car.  I miss what would have been invaluable assistance from you as I go through numerous resume revisions and fine tune my new job search strategy. So much I want to share with you, again.

I smile when I think about laughing about dumb stuff with you and telling you new funny things like recent first time visit to my new therapist. After I told her as much as I could about me in the first ten minutes, she sat back and pushed her eyeglasses up towards the bridge of her nose and quite seriously while looking over the top of them, quietly asked me "so, you are a homosexual?" Or even telling you about a funny but strange situation while I was at Chipotle tonight. A girl walked over to me while I was eating a burrito bowl and she smiled and asked me if I was going to save her any of my food. I  jokingly responded back, "of course I am" and asked her if she wanted some. I was shocked when she reached for my bowl and started to eat the rest of my dinner. All I could say was "don't you want to get a different fork?" She looked at me and said  "not necessary!"

On the simple side, I miss things like having espresso with you and playing Yahtzee. To this day, I still always think about stopping into a new espresso store when I pass one by to buy you a sample 1/4 pound of the most popular roast. I always think to myself, Jess would like this. I haven't forgotten beating you in every Yahtzee game either :-)

Common sense should tell me to give up and move on but then again, no one has ever accused me of having common sense. I wish that somewhere inside of your heart and soul, you feel enough of a connection with me to want me in your life, again.

It would mean so much to me and maybe even to you if you could reach out to me in some way, be it a phone call, a text or an email.  

I hope you and your family are well and I wonder how your life is going. How is your new job? There is so much I'd love to talk to you about. One day soon I hope!

Enough of this.  Here are the pictures.  Enjoy!

Steve

XOXO