The day-to-day trials and tribulations of a bi, but most likely gay man living in New York City, dealing with acceptance, relationships, coming-out and life in both the straight and gay worlds. It can be an exhausting existence with lots of challenges, frustration and even isolation. Some days I'm happy, some days I'm sad. Join me in my quest for happiness and the ultimate goal to scratch My Big Itch.
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Friday, May 27, 2011
Being Gay And Fucked Up! Why Does It Seem Like This Is The Rule, Not The Exception?
On another note, I hit a new gay-bar last night. It was interesting and really crowded but I am doing my best to expand my boundaries and meet new people and gain new experiences. I like the bars (the two that I go to all the time) but I wanted to add more. I actually met another really cool guy on Wednesday night at my "sleazy dive" that I like. He seems nice. He called me last night and asked if I was free tonight (Friday). I'm not, I am going to hang out with Marco#1 tonight. Meeting him on 6th Ave after work. Maybe a bike ride again and maybe the gym and most likely dinner and most likely a trip back uptown to his apartment to get naked. Marco#1 and I had an interesting text message conversation. In short, he told me that he likes me and has a great time with me but is feeling bad because he doesn't want to hurt me as he thinks I am looking for a romantic relationship with him and he at this time (he just broke up with his boyfriend 10 days ago) says that he can't do that now. I was surprised to hear that and wrote back that he was mistaken and that I actually enjoyed just being friends and was not looking for more than that. When I asked him what gave him the impression that I wanted more - and that perhaps I am too friendly and that gives off the wrong impression. He surprisingly wrote back this mixed and confusing response. No, he said, I love your personality, don't change. He also said that he thinks about me almost everyday and wants me to be able to sleep over with him and wake up in the morning together. He also tells me that he loves being in bed with me and that our bodies fit perfectly together and I feel really good in his arms. He ended his text conversation with "I can't wait too see you." So, and he tells me that I am looking for a relationship? I think this boy is confused or at the least, he is sending me mixed messages. Why are gay men so fucking confused and fucked up?