Happy Birthday To Me!

I'm watching Game 3 of the Stanley Cup. The Devils are down 2 games to 0 as they struggle to stay alive against the LA Kings. These are the finals and it's a best of 7 games.  Looks like LA may put the Devils to bed well before it ever goes the 7 game distance. I guess everyone has shit going on in their lives.  Even professional athletes who seem to have it all, have bad days too. Did that comment make sense? I think so! We all have good days and bad whether we're rich or poor or happy with how things are going or not happy.

My birthday is Wednesday. Big fucking deal. Why would anyone be happy about there birthday. It's just a strong reminder that we're getting older, and weaker and closer to, uh...death? Yep, death. I guess if I was totally content with my life, my job, my friends, my family, my finances, my love life, my everything...then I probably wouldn't care that much - but truth be told...I'm not. Big SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Wait a damn blasted minute. You know what?? I may not have a lot of the so-called good things going on in my life, but, I'm healthy, have all my legs and arms, have a family who even though we aren't really close all the time - I know they're there, I have a roof over my head, some money in the bank and a place to call home. Fuck it! I'm going to make the best of this birthday! Damn right, gonna look at the good going on in my life and turn that into a positive! Gee thanks everyone...I really needed this talking to. I feel better :)

Hey, I love that some people still read what I have to write. I really love it! Thanks everyone, again! I'm glad that you're all out there! I promise to write more! Gonna get going now. By the way, Devils are down 4-0 in this Game 3. Stay positive Devils...I am!

My Birthday Wish

I hope for a great year of happiness, health (for my mom and everyone), success, prosperity for me and FOR EVERYONE... yes that means YOU! I hope for an end to suffering and hate! Those are among the worst things in the world to endure. They cause so much pain! And also, speaking of suffering, I hope for some kind of reconciliation with my best friend Jess who I haven't seen or spoken to in 10 months and 3 week. I love you Jess, but I am also trying hard to love me too. Come back soon... I miss you!

It's My Birthday And I'll Cry If I Want To, Cry if I Want To! You Would Cry To If...

Sunday late afternoon. Mostly cloudy and cool in NYC. My moms surgery went as well as can be expected. They removed what they needed to remove as well as some lymph nodes too. Now we just need to wait for the report from the lab to come back to see what it was and what needs to be done next. The report can take a week! Shit, can you believe that they can't do that any faster! Patience I guess. Meanwhile, feeling a bit under the weather. Nothing serious but a bit of a cold etc. Hey, tomorrow is my birthday. Big fucking deal. Why do we celebrate getting older anyway? Well, my friends, Marco #1 and #2 asked me to go to a pool party/rave/whatever the fuck it is party in Hell's Kitchen at some club/pool tonight. I declined, just not up for it - then again, am I ever up for that? Instead, I will head out to my favorite new sleaze bar. I like the attitude, the dark, sleaziness and the direct no bullshit attitude there.Thats where I will usher in another year since my birth. Jess, I hear (actually Mary told me weeks ago - have not spoken to her since the last conversation over a week ago) is back home at his brother wedding. Hey don't get mad at me everyone - I miss him and this being my birthday (tomorrow) makes me even miss him more. What a sucker I am; sending him 3 bottles of the finest champagne and food etc to his birthday party last month. What do I get? The continued saga of being despised, ignored and hated. Oh well. I go on because thats all I can do. Peace and love...peace and love!