I just got home. Been out all day. But no, I wasn't having any fun. It was one of the worst days that I have had in a very long time. Of course it revolves around Jess. Let me preface this post and declare right here and now that what I am about to tell you makes me feel and realize that I have no self respect! Where is my self esteem and my pride? I don't know right now. I truly feel pathetic.
After last night, I thought things with Jess and I were over. Or at least in a really bad way. Well, I was right. When I woke up this morning, I was having regrets and feeling awful and needing to reach out to him. I needed to apologize to him for what I am not sure.
I guess when we went to the diner and I left him there with Mary, that was a bad thing for me to do. I also think that sending him a text and telling him that I didn't like the way he treated me, well that was probably a bad thing to do too. And third, I guess going to his apartment, while he was still out with Mary and returning his key (left it on the kitchen counter) that was an abomination. Anyway, I called him this morning to talk, to discuss last night and to let him know that I was probably more upset then I should have been.
