So Much Sadness Going On Out There

It's Monday. The day after Christmas and the television commercials for 60% off and more are even more intense and annoying now than the ads were prior to Christmas. Not sure why I led off with that thought, but, at 11:00 PM in the evening, that's obviously what was front and foremost in my mind. Well, that's not exactly true. It's holiday time and everything seems so sad lately. I rarely watch TV and got a chance to do so tonight. I keep hearing about the murder/suicide on Long Island which has been in the news, vandalism done repeatedly to the grave of an ex-teacher whose been dead for six years and the horrible, tragic, heartbreaking story of a Christmas Day fire in a wealthy waterfront section of Stanford, Connecticut where a house caught on fire, trapping and killing the homeowners Mom and Dad and three young children. The only survivors were the homeowner, a fashion designer, and her boyfriend, the contractor who was in the process of renovating the home. Tragically, she lost her parents and three children. That's a hell that I have no concept how anyone can get through.

READ MORE AFTER THE JUMP BELOW.

A Touching Comment From A Follower

I got a really beautiful comment today from someone who has been reading my blog (My Big Itch) for the past month. Occasionally I will post one of these comments left to me from one of my followers so that more of you can read it then had you just stumbled across it as it was left on the post. Anyway, this person is so kind and sweet.  He, (I assume he is a he) is pure of heart; his comment really effected me. I hope he doesn't mind that I write it here (below). I would like to tell him this. You my friend are very young but very wise. You have your entire life in front of you. Your sexuality is just that... your sexuality. It is just a small part of the beautiful, intelligent, worthwhile, valuable person you are. I promise you that one day, you will live your life as who you feel you are... regardless of what that is. Until that day when you feel safe and comfortable to do so, remember this. It gets easier! Thank you... Happy Holidays (or Merry Christmas if you celebrate Christmas). I love you too!  I hope you will add yourself as a Follower on my blog and choose a name that suits you best.

Here is what he had to say:

"I have been folowing your blog since last month...i just wanna say this to you...i really understand what you feel(about not being loved)...i feel lonely too as im just 21(bisxual) and cant come out due to the conservative nature of my country..im looking forward to date guys when i hopefully will go abroad to further my studies.....i do feel lonely too(at least you are able to dat..so make use of it and be happy)...so as a unknown wellwisher or just a random bi guy who understands your plight...i just wanna say i do love you..merry christmas."

I'm beginning to think that my blog is boring for most of you to read. Why do I think  that? Well, for one thing, my blog has tame, g-rated images that are appropriate for a pre-pubescent school kid or someones grandmother to read. Second, for many months, all I wrote about was Jess. It's not that I have forgotten Jess, no-far be it from that, it's just that I am doing the best I can to move forward with my life, do more things for me and write about it all on here. But, I'm not sure if my daily life, be it work, play, my old and new friends, my new extroverted life at the bars and with dating are interesting to anyone other then me. Should I add nudity? I see other blogs that have tits and ass and cock and well, hair! Do I need to add that to my blog? Will it spice things up here? Funny, I even have an adult warning banner on my blog before anyone can read it. Why the fuck do I have that? Maybe because I say fuck or because I talk honestly about things or who the hell knows! So for my gay followers-do you want more sizzle? More sex? More men? More pics? For my straight followers; do you want more tits? More hot ladies? Maybe you all want a geeky tech review? Or maybe recipes-forget that, I don't cook. I want followers and I want comments and I want you guys to read me. To be honest, I thought you all had enough of hearing about Jess so I stopped my bitching and whining and got on with my life. I can still bitch and whine if you want! I also decided to take my life in my hands (yeah, I do that too) and embarked on my new gay crusade to meet lots of new people, go to lots of new places (bars are included in this) and have lots of new experiences. But is that fucking boring? I really want to know what you think. What do you all want? I'd really like to know so lets hear it. I am going to add a new POLL on my blog so please take a minute and respond so I can know what you're thinking.

Think I Will Change The Look Of My Blog! What Do You Think?

I'm tired of looking at multi-color polka dots, etc. Considering a revamping of My Big Itch's look. I guess I'm indecisive about it. Of course I am, why wouldn't I be! So do I change it or leave it alone? Suggestions?

I'm Back -- At Least I Think I'm Back

I just signed on to my blog for the first time in over three months. I expected the 26 or so follower's to all be gone.  To my surprise they (you) are all still here. Not sure if thats because staying put and doing nothing is easier then taking the 4 minutes to unsubscribe. Nonetheless, I am glad to see you all still here.

Things are going okay. I'm doing the best I can. Some days are good and some days are sad. . .  I mean bad. Yeah, I can cry when I'm alone at the drop of a hat. I miss Jess a tremendous amount - I miss his friendship and his love and his warmth. I can't begin to understand how he can ignore me and not care about me and not think of me. Anyway, I'm thinking about starting to blog again.  It might be a bumpy ride.  Are you ready for it?

Please Check Out My New Poll Question. I Hope You All Respond!

Please, please, please vote and express your opinions in my new poll (top, left margin).

You all have been fucking amazing during this entire blog experience (yes, even you Drew, especially you). I have appreciated all the feedback. I will continue to write and let you all know what is going on. I hope that there is a happy ending, actually, not an ending but a happy beginning!

I just added a new poll on my blog page (left hand margin, top). Can you please respond and give me some feedback. What you all think is really important to me and helps me a lot! By the way, I've changed the lead song in My Mood Music mix on the page. Hope you like the change, I know I do!

Thanks,
Steve

A Message To Drew And To Anyone Who Happens To Read My Blog.

I wanted to just mention this because for some reason I found it really nice.  Drew, who was one of my original blog followers (and prolific comment writers on my blog) has as of late been somewhat harsh with me regarding the way I feel and act when it comes to Jess. He even wrote me and pretty much told me that he was dumping my blog because he couldn't stand reading it anymore. He said pretty much that I was as fucked up (my words, not his) as Jess and he led me to believe that Jess and I are so whacked out that we both deserve one another, specifically for that reason!

I accepted his opinion and although I was disappointed to see him move on and off from my blog, I figured, so be it!

Cut to the other day when Drew wrote me again and said:

"Problem is I cannot leave your blog. Just a rant.. I want to keep reading with hope that you will find YOUR happiness... Have a great time with Scott!!!"

Gotta love his honestly. Welcome back. Hey, I'm not perfect and yes I might say some things that will not live up to your expectations or be what you might do in a situation.  But, I am who I am. I am honest with what I say and feel. I am not perfect, far from it. And, this is my blog where I get to say everything and anything that is on my mind, in my heart and how I feel.  That's what blogs are for... no?  Does it make sense to tell lie's on here and say things that aren't true just to make me come off as a bigger and better person? No, so more of the same from me is on the way.

Thanks Drew. Keep your comments coming. I like when people say nice things to me but I can totally handle it when they say things that aren't as well.  Don't forget, I was born and raised and live in NYC. I look forward to hearing from you and helping you to continue to realize that human beings can be amazing and yes, they (we) can also be a fucking mess at times too.

Thanks Everyone!

I just added a Music Player to my blog. I hope you like it. I have been trying to make my blog look better. Not sure if I am improving it or perhaps making it worse.I have seen so many cool, slick, professional blogs and I want mine to that have that similar look, that edge, that something!

I Reached 100 Hits On My Blog Today!

And for me... thats a big freaking deal!  Thank you people!  I appreciate you hanging in there with me and reading my sometime's ridiculous posts.  Please comment and tell me what you would like to see more of on my blog.  Pictures?  Guys, girls? (doesn't everyone else do that ?  This is supposed to be about me and my life).  More honesty?  More of the same?

Why Am I So Excited To Hear From New Followers?

This is cool.  Just got an email from another blogger named A Rad Homo (real name is kept secret).  This guy has 241 followers on his blog!  Holy Shit!  I have one!  :-(  He wrote a brief but cool email.  He hasn't yet added himself to my blog as a follower but I hope he does.  I need feedback and I need to know that someone out there is reading what I write.  Maybe my blog style sucks... okay, then I want to know that!  Hey Vestige, hopefully you will have a little brother soon, named A Rad Homo.